you don't know what God is.

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mickron88's picture
i thought both of them will

i thought both of them will wash my balls..

god and jesus..anyway jesus is fine..
bring him in..

lets get started, my balls are itching...

Randomhero1982's picture
One nut each lol

One nut each lol

Tin-Man's picture
@Q Re: "lets get started,

@Q Re: "lets get started, my balls are itching."

You should keep your critters better fed so they don't act up as much. *snicker*

By the way, if you pay a little extra, can you get like a deluxe service on the ball-washing deal?

bigbill's picture
Well the God that I worship

Well the God that I worship and serve is the Abrahamic God The Judean Christian God. Jesus Christ, The lover of humanity who Died on a wooden cross for us. He justified and met the criteria with humanity by being the perfect sinless sacrifice. We as Christians are now being sanctified daily. He longs to fellowship and abide in us. So we as Christ followers Pray study his word and do good things because his spirit is within us. And for this sacrifice we are promised the crown of eternal life .It`s as easy as that. nothing hard about it; Believe on the Lord and you will be saved. Practice the virtues stay sinless and when you do sin repent .That`s why I have no problem in calling my God Lord Jesus is not a distant relationship but a very real and personal one. He said "I call you Friends" Friends is personal .Right now as I right this we are in the season of Lent we prepare over these 40 days for Easter.We fast pray read the scriptures do almsgiving, We sacrifice ourselves like our Lord did for us on GOOD FRIDAY.

Sapporo's picture
If your god loves humanity,

If your god loves humanity, why did it exterminate almost the entire population of the Earth, and intends to torture most of those who have ever lived? If Jesus Christ was a sacrifice for our sin, then why is he still intent on torturing most of us?

bigbill's picture
Yes God can punish the

Yes God can punish the inhabitants of the Earth by one great flood, If you knew your bible at all you would see that there was great sin upon the earth, So God acted accordingly. But if you would remember he also said that he wouldn`t do that anymore. As for most people, You don`t want to know God or live for him. You have a hardened heart. Anyone who is not a follower of Jesus Christ is Anti-Christ .And will be dealt with appropriately if. that means taking action against you then so be it. Sapporo you should ask yourself this question: If you die some day and stand before God and he says what reasons do you have that I Should consider you fit for heaven what answer would you give him?

Tin-Man's picture
@FIG Re: "If you die some

@FIG Re: "If you die some day and stand before God and he says what reasons do you have that I Should consider you fit for heaven what answer would you give him?"

Ooooo... Tough one. But I'll give it a shot...

First, I would probably be like, "Holy shit! You ARE real!" Then I would likely cuss him out for all the bullshit he did over the centuries. Once I got that out of my system, my answer to his question would probably go something like this...

"Why the hell are YOU asking ME why I think YOU should allow ME into heaven? YOU are the one who is suppose to already know everything. Why are we even having this conversation?"

Fairly simple, if you ask me.

bigbill's picture
Your avoiding Jesus question

Your avoiding Jesus question to you; What have you done with the life that I gave you what makes you worthy, as a sinful person to come into my presence and to occupy heaven with me. You say that you would have animus toward GOD and most likely cuss him out. Are you serious, Your not just conversing with another person here but with the HOLY Omnipotent God. You will be trembling in your snickers okay .So Don`t tin-man take this hypothetical question to lightly. Because that is going to be all our experience some day. So wake up now please, And don`t treat this as a joke. Your the one to lose and really the joke is on you!!!

Old man shouts at clouds's picture
@ Tin Man and FIG

@ Tin Man and FIG

Those meds ain't working.....Time for a re-evaluation.

Tin-Man's picture
@Old Man Re: Meds

@Old Man Re: Meds

Well, I did run out of green pills. But don't worry, Old Man, I got it covered. I just take a blue pill and yellow pill together to make up for it.


And you obviously missed the point (as usual). If your God does exist, then he shouldn't be asking me anything at all, because according to your belief, god already knew where I will go (heaven or hell) loooong before I was ever even conceived. Why waste time asking me what I think I deserve? He (supposedly) already knows.

C'mon, dude, try to keep up.

algebe's picture
@faith in god: what reasons

@faith in god: what reasons do you have that I Should consider you fit for heaven

I'm better than you, god. I haven't committed genocide. I haven't created an organization dedicated to torture, oppression, and child abuse. I haven't murdered anyone for wearing the wrong clothes, for wanking, for being gay, because I was in a bad mood, and I haven't raped a virgin and left another man to care for her and my baby.

So god, if you've done all the stuff they say about you in the bible, let me into heaven and send yourself down to hell to burn some decency into yourself. And say hello to all the popes and cardinals when you get there.

bigbill's picture
Well did you suffer a violent

Well did you suffer a violent beating and death for your fellow human beings like I did. And after countless attempts that I made to win you back you protested and shunned me. Through my spokespersons sincere bible believing Christians who tolerated all the abuse from you non-believers in order to give you the message of hope. you turned away for your own ill conceived appetites. You would rather have the things of this world then myself. What you said about my loving god sending himself to hell was not right here. PLEASE recant here!!! You are a sinful individual and as you look upon this as a joke, The real joke is on you, You have everything to lose.

Tin-Man's picture
Re: FIG - "Well did you

Re: FIG - "Well did you suffer a violent beating and death for your fellow human beings like I did. And after countless attempts that I made to win you back you protested and shunned me."

Awww... He's so adorable when he does his Jesus impersonation.

Old man shouts at clouds's picture
@ TM

@ TM

Nah I liked his "unsure agnostic" role more. Those cute puppy eyes, and his begging for answers...aaaawwwww.

I will nominate him for the AR Moscars (thats a pun FIG)

algebe's picture
@faith in God: You have

@faith in God: You have everything to lose.

But at least I haven't lost my mind. LOL

Tin-Man's picture
@Algebe Re: "But at least I

@Algebe Re: "But at least I haven't lost my mind. LOL"

Gee, thanks, Algebe. It's not MY fault the Wizard gave Scarecrow the brain. No worries, though, I got a heart out of it all, so you just go right ahead and step aaaallll over my feelings with the whole "mind comments". Yep, don't "mind" little ol' mindless me over here at all. Just keep right on making light of those of us who are brain-deficient. I'll just be over in the corner sobbing quietly to myself.

algebe's picture
There there Tin-man. My

There there Tin-man. My comment wasn't directed at you, but at the god impersonator who keeps threatening all kinds of dire consequences for non-believers. I'm sure you have a brain in there somewhere, possibly even a positronic one like that other Tin-man.

algebe's picture
@Faith in God (AKA Jesus)

@Faith in God (AKA Jesus):Well did you suffer a violent beating and death for your fellow human beings like I did.

Yeah, I was crowned with a spike right through my head
(Rolling Stones, "Jumping Jack Flash")

Sapporo's picture
@faith in God follower

@faith in God follower
I would say to Jesus that I believe each person should take responsibility for their own actions, and that I consider him immoral for carrying out genocide and torture.

Mark B. ForBrewster Elfinn's picture
Your intellectually fatal

Your intellectually fatal fallacy is presenting the bible as your validation. First, the bible is the source of the claim, and cannot validate itself. If it could, then Harry Potter exists, same amount of proof. Second, your sophistry here is the worst kind of bootlicking treacle. You are so far removed from reality, a parking ticket could get you committed.

Anonymous's picture
Copy/paste. Copy/paste. I

Copy/paste. Copy/paste. I had a feeling this was all copy/paste.

Are you paid by an organization for this? Me thinks so.


Old man shouts at clouds's picture


Check the date of the posts....just above the avatar...otherwise you will be replying to zombies...FIG (and all his aliases) was escorted from this site some time ago....

Anonymous's picture
I saw the date. If he was

I saw the date. If he was escorted from this site, why hasn't AR deleted him. It just takes up more space. Thnx for letting me know, Handsome.

arakish's picture
I am not sure, but some forum

I am not sure, but some forum board software does what is called a "cascade deletion." Delete a user and you delete all the associated posts. Not sure what software they use here, or if it home brewed.

Besides, when I am really bored, I like going back into these old threads just to read them. Sometimes I get a good belly laugh, just like that recent exchange with Great Hope. "Now get up and act like a real Tin-man." (or similar) that was funny.

However, I have posted in old ones myself not looking at the Date/Time stamp.


Nyarlathotep's picture
Yeah, posts are modeled as

Yeah, posts are modeled as nodes, kind of like an outline of the thread. Deleting a node (post) deletes anything descended from it.

Tin-Man's picture
@MB Re: "If he was escorted

@MB Re: "If he was escorted from this site, why hasn't AR deleted him."

Noooo...! We can't delete all of FIG's stuff! How else will I ever remember him? I still miss the little guy sometimes...*sniff-sniff-sob*.... Sure, he was an infuriating little shit, but he could also be a great source of fun at times....*raised shot glass in salute*.... Poor little fella....*downs the shot*.... *sound of Taps playing in the background*.... I'm gonna go now before anybody sees me crying....

mickron88's picture
"eternal life"

"eternal life"

promises are made to be broken....

"Believe on the Lord and you will be saved"

which one?
the lord of lighting?thor?

can a rapist be saved?
can a mass murderer be saved?

bigbill's picture
Quasi: You know exactly what

Quasi: You know exactly what GOD I`m espousing And that is Jesus Christ. And yes it happens every day in regard to rapist, and murders He so forgives If you live the correct way the Judean Christian way you will be saved. I mentioned above what that curtails.

mickron88's picture

AND YOUR STUPID FUCKED UP GOD can't do anything about these???....fuck man!!!...

if i see a girl being raped? i'll stop that rapist from raping the poor girl, and shovel his dick to his ass..

thats the difference between me and your god,
he'll just say "ok go ahead rape that girl, but if you die i'm gonna punish you"

where's the justice for the girl?.....nothing.....dumb ass..FIG

i'm much moral than your fucking stupid asinine moronic god..

Sushisnake's picture
@Don't Say God

@Don't Say God

You titled the thread "you don't know what God is"
Okie dokie. So tell us what god is. Tell us what YOU believe.


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