I Am Deceived, Therefore I Think

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Cognostic's picture
Lemmiwinks.! Now that

Lemmiwinks.! Now that makes sense!

rat spit's picture
Tin Man:

Tin Man:

As king of the rats; “rat spit” the wise - this crown I wear was custom made by our royal artisans.

arakish's picture
Actually, it looks like a

Actually, it looks like a radio telemetry tag so someone can keep tabs on your whereabouts.

rmfr

rat spit's picture
Oh. The government? Oh yeah.

Oh. The government? Oh yeah. I know they’ve been tracking me for years. Microchips implanted by the aliens. Government cover up conspiracy.

Tin-Man's picture
@Rat Spit Re: "Oh yeah. I

@Rat Spit Re: "Oh yeah. I know they’ve been tracking me for years. Microchips implanted by the aliens. Government cover up conspiracy."

Hey, I know how you feel, man. I just recently learned that Cog and a few others have me "tagged" and have been keeping close tabs on me for some reason. All in all, I don't really mind it that much, though. Matter of fact, it can be a little fun at times. For instance, I just got my spare room all cleared out and outfitted with extra padding and plastic sheeting. The other day I took several sealed crates of various sizes into the room and closed the door. Then I cranked up the volume of a CD of multiple animal noises and screeches. A little while later I walked out wearing nothing but a towel and dripping several types of "fluids" from head to toe. Can't wait to see Cog's next report about THAT one... *mischievous snicker*...

rat spit's picture
@Tin Man

@Tin Man

I know you’re already made of tin, but try wrapping your head in tin-foil. It works really well. You can even make a little hat. Stops those lurkers from monitoring your brain waves ;)

Old man shouts at clouds's picture
@ Ratspit

@ Ratspit

Tin man doesn't have brain waves, they make his earholes rust out. He has brain 'clanks' caused by all the little hammers in his head. Do get it right. Ask your OverLord thingy.

The last time we monitored Tin Man's brain activity (and a very noisy experience it was too) we were arrested for watching prohibited and copyright material.

Tin-Man's picture
@Old Man

@Old Man

Hey, you might be pleased to know I recently installed a noise-dampening system to help lower some of that annoying hammering racket. Oh, and as for the prohibited and copyrighted material you saw, that was just the stuff I keep unsecured. Good thing you weren't able to access my protected memory files. Yikes!

arakish's picture
@ Tin-Man

@ Tin-Man

Even I do not think I want to even know what is in your protected memory files...

rmfr

Tin-Man's picture
@Rat Spit Re: "...but try

@Rat Spit Re: "...but try wrapping your head in tin-foil."

Tin-foil?... Nah. That's just a ridiculous urban legend. Doesn't really work. That's why I had my funnel hat lined with LEAD. Hell, not even Superman can see through lead, so I know I am safe from brain scans now. If you are interested, I know a guy who could line your crown. His prices are very reasonable, and he will give you a free loaner lead hat to wear while you wait.

Cognostic's picture
Hello headquarters.....

Hello headquarters..... Observed Tin Man attempting to form an alliance with Rat Shit Baby. The orgy appears to be a go. Plastic sheets arrived today along with multi colored body paints. Apparently the pervert could not wait till party day to try them out. He was in the shower for 3 hours moaning and groaning to the music he was playing and when he came out he was all orange and red and blue and green and looked like a peacock that I once fucked when I was younger. ON A SIDE NOTE: We gotta get a hidden camera into that bathroom. Strange shit goes on in there.

Tin-Man's picture
*steps out onto front porch*.

*steps out onto front porch*.... *looks toward shrubbery across street*.... *turns around*.... *drops pants*.... *bends over and moons surveillance camera in the bushes*.... *right butt cheek is purple*.... *tattoo on left butt cheek stating in bold lettering "No Free Rides"*......

Rohan M.'s picture
Was it a shrubbery that was

Was it a shrubbery that was nice, and too expensive?

Rohan M.'s picture
Dripping so much oil that you

Dripping so much oil that you can’t safely go on the carousel yet. That’s why we’re keeping such close tabs on you, Tin.

Tin-Man's picture
@Rohan Re: "Dripping so much

@Rohan Re: "Dripping so much oil that you can’t safely go on the carousel yet."

Uhhhh.... Yeah.... About that... I'm afraid that is NOT oil.... *hands subconsciously crossing together in front of crotch*.... So, uh, just be careful where you step, and do NOT be tempted by the pleasant fragrance.

Cognostic's picture
Oh!!! That's a crown?

Oh!!! That's a crown? Sorry, I thought you had a yellow urinal cake on your back and were off to take a shower. My bad. Crown huh? Still smells like a yellow urinal cake.

Imprecise's picture
If you are in my head, get

If you are in my head, get out while you still can. It's a dangerous place.

More seriously, the voice in my head is the only 'me' there is, no matter what it is. No proof required. It is up to theists to demonstrate that it is anything other than just inside the head.

Tin-Man's picture
@OldDogNT Re: "It is up to

@OldDogNT Re: "It is up to theists to demonstrate that it is anything other than just inside the head."

What if that voice calls on the phone? All I can say is I am thankful for cell phones now. Back before cell phones, my voice would take off to who-knows-where, get totally smashed, then call me long-distance collect. What an asshole. Ran my phone bill up to the damn stratosphere during holiday season.... *rolling eyes*... Not so much a problem anymore, thankfully. Plus, with my cell phone, I can put it on speaker and then play a solitaire game or something while the voice rambles on and on about the latest nonsense.

Sheldon's picture
Precisely so, but try telling

Precisely so, but try telling rat spit that the voices in his head are not supernatural entities. One worries what the hell these voices are telling him to do.

Rohan M.'s picture
Oh dear, I most sincerely

Oh dear, I most sincerely hope that Rat spit only has one inner voice in his head... and I really hope that it’s one that he can control to some degree... otherwise I fear that he may be unstable... no offense, Rat.

Imprecise's picture
@Tin-Man

@Tin-Man

You need a flat rate unlimited call plan.

I once asked my co-workers if it bothered them when I talked to myself. They said it was not the talking so much as the arguments.

Cognostic's picture
I've got the same habit. I

I've got the same habit. I have a friend that sits next to me. I sprung for his headphones. Anyone else can just tell me to stop; No offense taken.

Rohan M.'s picture
What “inner voice” are you

What “inner voice” are you talking about, exactly? Do you mean my conscience (what I am thinking right here and now)? Because if that is so, then yes, that is I, Rohan K(rest of middle name censored) M(rest of last name also censored). Nothing magical about it.

In fact, at times, when nobody else is around, I even speak my inner mind out loud. This clearly demonstrates that I have full command over it.

rat spit's picture
@Rohan

@Rohan

Would you agree that racing thoughts, worries, thoughts that keep us up at night, for example, are common complaints from a lot of people? Even your self included, perhaps? And also, if you are in complete control of your thoughts - should you not have the capability to turn them both on and off at will; for any desired length of time.

My point is that we identify with these thoughts even when they are “almost certainly” not under our control.

Yes, the “am I me?” Test seems to yield an arbitrary “yes” from the thinker - however that arbitrary “thinker” (you) is riddled with inconsistencies.

Cognostic's picture
Nothing keeps me up at night.

Nothing keeps me up at night. That's why I use Viagra.
On a side note: The rest of us do not get "COMMON COMPLAINTS" from a lot of people. We are normal.

No. "WE" do not identify with these thoughts. "I" tell them to wait until tomorrow and then I sleep. Sleep is more important. I can address them with a clear mind in the morning. It's simply called setting priorities.

Rohan M.'s picture
Yes, I can “turn them off”...

Yes, I can “turn them off”... by focusing on other things. These shifts in focus happen at the speed of thought, and even if I do think of something that I had previously stopped thinking about, the human brain works in such a way that the recalled memory will always be at least slightly different than what it was the last time it was recalled, until (unless you decide to refresh that memory by experiencing what caused it a second time) all that remains will be misinformation and confusion.

And by the way, when I have trouble sleeping at night, it’s not thoughts that prevent me from falling asleep quickly; it’s always caused by the following:
- the effect that using an electronic device late at night has on my eye movement, making it harder for them to relax
- An uncomfortable feeling caused if the mattress is too hard, if it’s too cold, or if there’s too much loud background noise
- Light in the room

And no, troubling thoughts do not keep people up; if that were the case, then why is it that we end up sleeping anyway and then having nightmares?

rat spit's picture
*wagging tongue - heel of

*wagging tongue - heel of hand pressed hard against forehead* - You are a sneaky little monkey.

For erections lasting longer than 4 hours, seek immediate medical attention - like your nearest spa or masseuse.

Cognostic's picture
I have never had an erection

I have never had an erection last less than four hours. Once again, not a problem for me; however, I fully get how it might freak you out.

rat spit's picture
@Rohan

@Rohan

“And no, troubling thoughts do not keep people up; if that were the case, then why is it that we end up sleeping anyway and then having nightmares?”

I find it suspicious that you would assert this when it’s common knowledge that worries and anxieties keep people awake at night.

Speaking of nightmares ... why do you think your control over your dreams is limited - given that you control your thoughts?

arakish's picture
rat spit: "Speaking of

rat spit: "Speaking of nightmares ... why do you think your control over your dreams is limited - given that you control your thoughts?"

Because most persons do not even realize they are dreaming until they wake up.

rmfr

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