Christian missionary has been killed .....

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Cognostic's picture
Christian missionary has been killed .....

"An American self-styled adventurer and Christian missionary has been killed and buried by a tribe of hunter-gatherers on a remote island in the Indian Ocean..."
https://www.radionz.co.nz/news/world/376542/christian-missionary-killed-...

You have all seen the post before..... What were the last thoughts racing through this guys head before a spear took its' place?

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Cognostic's picture
"Momma always said, Life is

"Momma always said, Life is like a box of chocolates, you never know what you're gonna get. Oh look.... here come the natives."

Cognostic's picture
"Jesus loves the little

"Jesus loves the little children, all the little children of the world. Red and yellow, black and whiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii."

"One little, two little, three little Indians, Four little, five little, six little Indians, seven little. eight little, nine little Indians. Ten little Indian OUCH!."

Tin-Man's picture
"Hey! This doesn't look like

"Hey! This doesn't look like Pismo Beach! I knew I should have taken that left turn at Albuquerque."

Tin-Man's picture
"Good afternoon sir or ma'am!

"Good afternoon sir or ma'am! Do you have a moment to talk about our dear Lord and-,".... *THUNK!*... "Sav.... ior..."

Edited sound effects.

Tin-Man's picture
"Gee... I hope they have

"Gee... I hope they have valet parking for my canoe..."

Tin-Man's picture
"Hello, my friends! If you

"Hello, my friends! If you all wouldn't mind gathering around for a quick group selfie I would be most gratefu-"... *THUNK!*....

Edited sound effects.

Cognostic's picture
"Lemon tree very pretty and

"Lemon tree very pretty and the lemon flower is sweet, but the taste of the poor lemon is impossible to *THUNK*

Cognostic's picture
"All you have to do is find

"All you have to do is find the coconut man...... LMAO I am sure he was singing this song.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w0AOGeqOnFY

Cognostic's picture
NO WAIT!!!!! I FOUND A

NO WAIT!!!!! I FOUND A BETTER ONE!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nf670orHKcA

"I'VE GOT A LOVELY BUNCH OF *THUNK*"

Cognostic's picture
Row row row the boat, gently

Row row row the boat, gently to the shore, THUNK!

Cognostic's picture
"Now where in the hell is

"Now where in the hell is that doorbell?"

Tin-Man's picture
"Okay, guys! Who ordered the

"Okay, guys! Who ordered the foot-long meatball sub with extra chee-"...*THUNK!*

David Killens's picture
Yes, any human life is

Yes, any human life is precious, and yes it was a tragedy. I also understand that religion can poison the ability to think clearly.

But he was a big boy, he decided to do something very stupid, and paid the ultimate price. It is on him, and I feel almost zero sympathy. He was not a hero, he was not doing anything noble, he was auditioning for "Jackass Meets Jesus"

Cognostic's picture
THAT'S EXCELLENT!

THAT'S EXCELLENT!

"I'm a big boy now. I am dong God's work." *THUNK*

Not even God can save an idiot from himself.

Rohan M.'s picture
R'Amen. And now he no longer

R'Amen. And now he no longer exists, and therefore doesn't know that there's no Maker to meet.

AccretedMinutiae's picture
"God, please don't let them

"Aw damn... the last thing I need is a Darwin Award."

Tin-Man's picture
Speaking of Darwin Awards....

Speaking of Darwin Awards....

"Yooo-hooo, fellas! I'm here to pick up my troph-"... *THUNK!*....

Tin-Man's picture
*dragging canoe out of the

*dragging canoe out of the water*.... *grumbling to self*.... "I swear! This is the last time I'm ever using THAT travel agency agai-".... *THUNK!*...

Tin-Man's picture
"These Godless heathens are

"These Godless heathens are gonna hear the words of my loving Lord and Savior even if it kills m-".... *THUNK!*...

Rohan M.'s picture
@Tin Man I think that that

@Tin Man I think that that one is the most accurate.

Cognostic's picture
"Oh fuck! What would Jesus

"Oh fuck! What would Jesus do?" *THUNK*

Cognostic's picture
*THUNK* "Ouch! Turn the other

*THUNK* "Ouch! Turn the other..." *THUNK* "Ouch! cheek." *THUNK, THUNK, THUNK*

Rohan M.'s picture
*THUNK* Love- *THUNK* thy-

*THUNK* Love- *THUNK* thy- *THUNK* nei-*THUNK THUNK THUNK*

Cognostic's picture
"Gee, it got cloudy all of a

"Where'd the sun go?." *THUNK, THUNK, THUNK, THUNK, THUNK, THUNK, THUNK, THUNK, THUNK, THUNK, THUNK, THUNK, THUNK, THUNK, THUNK, THUNK, THUNK, THUNK, THUNK, THUNK, THUNK, THUNK, THUNK, THUNK, THUNK, THUNK, THUNK, THUNK, THUNK, THUNK, THUNK, THUNK*

Old man shouts at clouds's picture
Oh Pastor, you would be so

Oh Pastor, you would be so proud of m THUNK

Old man shouts at clouds's picture
A native! Let me thank the

A native! Let me thank the Lord for his Mercy THUNK

Rohan M.'s picture
Wow, a native is about to

Wow, a native is about to kill me; God must be showing me His Love! (gets on his knees and claps his hands together) Blessed be thy Lo-*THUNK*

Old man shouts at clouds's picture
"What me worry?" THUNKITY

"What me worry?" THUNKITY THUNK THUNK

Attachments

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Tin-Man's picture
Re: "What me worry?"

Re: "What me worry?"

Oh, shit, Old Man! Wish I could give you 10k Agrees for that one! ROFLMAO

(MAD Magazine was an absolute favorite of mine growing up.)

Cognostic's picture
"Oh Lord, thank you for

"Oh Lord, thank you for guiding me to help these poor savage heat ..." *THUNK*

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