Christian missionary has been killed .....

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David Killens's picture
THUNK THUNK squish THUNK

THUNK THUNK squish THUNK

Nyarlathotep's picture
You see; you guys are natives

You see; you guys are natives who don't understand that the metaphysics of potentiality of beings be reinforced by the actually of first Causes from the 15th plateau'ed vector space under SU(2) group transforma...THUNK THUNK THUNK

Cognostic's picture
THERE IS PEACEFUL SILENCE ON

THERE IS PEACEFUL SILENCE ON THE LITTLE ISLAND ... UNTIL... *Stepping onto the sand from his kayak. Raising his megaphone to face the jungle. Speaking loudly into the megaphone as he sways it back and forth in front of the jungle trees.*

"Psychosis - an umbrella term that an individual has sensory experiences of things that do not exist and or beliefs with no basis in reality.

*slight pause* (PEOPLE ARE RUNNING UP THE BEACH BUT THE MORNING SUN'S GLARE MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE TO SEE. "THEY MUST BE FANS" SAYS THE SPEAKER TO HIMSELF AS HE CONTINUES).

"Your everything, your god or gods, the basis of your reality, is only due to your parents or community’s ingrained psychosis ------ "THUNK THUNK THUNK!!!!

PEACEFUL SILENCE FALLS UPON THE BEACH ONCE AGAIN.

Cognostic's picture
*IT'S BRIGHT SUNNY MORNING,

*IT'S BRIGHT SUNNY MORNING, CLEAR BLUE OCEAN WAVES ROLL GENTLY ONTO THE WHITE SAND BEACHES. MORNING BIRD CALLS WAFT ON THE BREEZE FROM THE JUNGLES BEYOND THE SHORE LINE. BUT SUDDENLY THE TRANQUILITY OF THE MORNING IS INTERRUPTED BY THE SANDPAPER RASP OF FIBERGLASS MOVING ACROSS SMALL BEACH STONES ECHOING ACROSS THE PEACEFUL SCENE. A FOOT SPLASHES UNCEREMONIOUSLY FROM THE KAYAK INTO THE WATER, AND STOMPS ASHORE, WITHOUT REGARD FOR THE SLEEPING NATIVES BEYOND THE JUNGLE TREES. THEN, HOLDING HANDS TO MOUTH, FORMING A BARKER'S FUNNEL, THE MAN FROM THE KAYAK BEGINS TO SHOUT.*

"I am a Theist but want to learn more about Atheism, especially about its response to the Kalam Cosmological Argument. I'm sure this is an argument most of us have heard of before and would like to hear some of your responses to it. In case anyone does not know the argument, it goes like this:

(SLIGHT PAUSE AS THE SPEAKER LOOKS AROUND. HAS ANYONE HEARD HIS CRY? THE TREES IN THE JUNGLE, JUST PAST THE SHORE LINE, BEGIN TO SHUFFLE. IS IT THE WIND? IS IT GOD? THOSE ARE AFTER ALL, THE ONLY TWO LOGICAL CHOICES IN THE MIND OF OUR INTRUDER AS HE CONTINUES YELLING INTO THE TREES. )

"1) Everything that begins to exist has a cause
2) The universe began to exist
3) Therefore, the universe has a cause"

THUNK! THUNK! THUNK!

The End :-)

cranky47's picture
Oh, I thought it was a

oops. I've already posted on this topic.

Tin-Man's picture
...*excitedly talking out

...*excitedly talking out loud to self while walking up beach toward treeline*... "Yes! I have finally made it! Now, all I have to do is simply get these primitive heathen natives to understand how evolution is TOTALLY wrong, and then they will have NO CHOICE but to convert and start singing the praises of the Lord!"... *spots movement in the treeline*... "Oh, look! There goes a local native now!"... *stopping to look up and down treeline*... "Hmmm... wonder how many more there ar-".... THUNK-THUNK-THUNK..... THUNKITY-THUNK-THUNK-THUNK.....

Randomhero1982's picture
*whilst on the phone*

*whilst on the phone*

"Of course I'll be fine.... yes, I'm wearing my good pants.... yes, I packed my William Lane Craig literature..... mum, what's the worst that could happen? It's not like I'm collecting a Darwin awar......."

*THUNK* *THUNK* *THUNK*

Pirate Jack's picture
Hey Islanders! It’s almost

Hey Islanders! It’s almost Halloween! I’ve brought some cool costumes to wear! We have a nun outfit, we have a devil outfit, we also have a priest with his dick out , THUNK THUNK THUNK THUNK

Cognostic's picture
Hey! You guys ever bobbed

Hey! You guys ever bobbed for coconuts? THUNK! THUNK! THUNK!

Cognostic's picture
HEY! HALLOWEEN GAME TIME!

HEY! HALLOWEEN GAME TIME! Wanna play pin the tail on the THUNK THUNK THUNK!

Cognostic's picture
*Stepping off the kayak,

*Stepping off the kayak, sheet with two eye holes over his head, bible in one hand and a basket of orange Halloween coconuts in the other.* "BOO!* THUNK THUNK THUNK! Haaapppyy Hallllloooo weeeee THUNK THUNK THUNK!

Rohan M.'s picture
You see, without God I'd have

You see, without God I'd have no reason to do goo- *THUNK*

Cognostic's picture
*STEPPING ONTO THE BEACH.

*STEPPING ONTO THE BEACH. THROAT CLEARING* "AAAAAHHHHHEEEEEMMMMM." *PAUSE. LOOKING ABOUT. RAISING HIS CHIN AND ANNOUNCING IN HIS LOUDEST PREACHER VOICE* ""If one believes we can create an AI, that means someone could have created us and our universe as well, and this world is a test we must pass for us to qualify as worthy later on." THUNK! THUNK! THUNK!

SecularSonOfABiscuitEater's picture
O O O OReilly'sssssssss...

O O O OReilly'sssssssss... Auto Parts!

Cognostic's picture
Jo steps out of the canoe and

Jo steps out of the canoe and onto the beach. A place no white man has been before. THUNK! THUNK! THUNK! (A guy can dream can't he?")

Pirate Jack's picture
It’s a New Year heathens,

It’s a New Year heathens, time to accept Jesus! THUNK THUNK THUNK!

David Killens's picture
New Year, new spears and

New Year, new spears and arrows.

THUNK

Tin-Man's picture
"Okay, look, fellas, I know

"Okay, look, fellas, I know we may have gotten off to a rocky start on my first visit. No hard feelings, though. For the good Lord has seen fit to allow me to return in this new year and new decade in order to give you all a second chance to accept His loving grace and merchand-... uh, I mean mercy. So, if you would all just form an orderly line at the booth here, all major credit cards are accepted, but cash is preferred. Let's start 2020 off with a-"... *THUNK-THUNK-THUNK-THUNK*....

NewSkeptic's picture
@Tin,

@Tin,

The rust may have taken hold, but there is no new decade, you'll have to wait another year for that. It's not even a new digit as "2" has been around for some time. The Lord may not yet have decided if you will see another decade, no, I take that back, the Lord has known exactly how much time you'll have before he even invented time. (Let that one sink in you heathens).

Anyway, don't give Tinny any money, he'll just waste it on WD40 and monkey traps. Continue to support that handsome young man Joel Osteen instead as his master bathroom suite could really use another attached wing.

Tin-Man's picture
@NewSkeptic Re: "Anyway, don

@NewSkeptic Re: "Anyway, don't give Tinny any money, he'll just waste it on WD40 and monkey traps."

No, no, no. That is incorrect. I already have all the traps I need. The money will be spent on monkey BAIT and tranquilizers... (and WD40). Trapping is just a fun hobby for me, actually. What makes it so entertaining is that no matter how many times he gets caught, Cog keeps falling for the same traps every time. It just doesn't get old watching him sneak up to the trap the exact same way each and every time as if, "Ha! THIS time it won't get me." But then... *BOING!*... he triggers the activator, the noose tightens around his ankle and... *SWOOSH!*... up into the air he goes to be suspended just out of reach of the banana below him. Cracks me up every time... *chuckle*... Of course, I then have to tranquilize him (from a distance) before setting him loose. Otherwise, I end up covered in poo. (Had to learn that lesson the hard way... *shudder*...) Oh, that reminds me, I need some more CO2 cartridges for the tranquilizer gun... *makes note on note pad*... Now accepting donations, by the way.

David Killens's picture
I will set up a GoFundMe page

I will set up a GoFundMe page to pay for the CO2 cartridges and tranquilizer.

And videos of the classic Roadrunner series, to provide inspiration for more traps.

Cognostic's picture
"Holy Shit!!! I have been

"Holy Shit!!! I have been resurrected! Just like "THUNK! THUNK! THUNK!" Jeesssssssuuuuuxx.

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