Christian missionary has been killed .....

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Cognostic's picture
*YELLING LOUDLY - "Beat

WHEW! I made it.... *THUNK THUNK THUNK!

Pirate Jack's picture
Damn it, that the second time

Damn it, that the second time in less than 12 hours I spit drink on my computer.

Tin-Man's picture
@PJ Re : "Damn it, that the

@PJ Re : "Damn it, that the second time in less than 12 hours I spit drink on my computer."

Shame on you! You have broken the Third Commandment of Arakish regarding reading posts in the AR.... *shaking head sadly*... *performing sign of the pretzel across chest and crotch*... Forgive our Brother PJ, Arakish, for he has sinned....

Pirate Jack's picture
For god so loved the world

For god so loved the world that he sent Jesus here to die for your sins! Put down your weapons and open your heart to...... THUNK THUNK THUNK THUNK!!!

Rohan M.'s picture
Throw all your brains out the

Throw all your brains out the window and just blindly trust in my invisible friend by letting him into your hearts, and remember: doubting and asking questions are sinful for some reason. *THUNK* *THUNK* *THUNK* *THUNK* *THUNK*

Pirate Jack's picture
I have great news to tell ye

I have great news to tell ye of no faith! Although you have lived in peace and happiness for hundreds of years without Jesus to save you from sin,it’s not too late (arrow lands at feet) Oh how cute, one of your little heathens must have accidentally mistaken me for an enemy! Well I’m not! I’ve boated here against your wishes to tell you about God and Jesus so you may live after death... (arrows shower down) Stop you bastards! THUNK THUNK THUNK THUNK

Pirate Jack's picture
Oh what a beautiful morning,

Oh what a beautiful morning, oh what a beautiful day, I sailed to save some heathens, everything’s going my way!!! THUNK THUNK THUNK THUNK

Pirate Jack's picture
There was a man in a canoe

There was a man in a canoe
He came to tell what god could do
When he stepped out on the sand
The Natives didn’t want him on their land
He started reading from his book
They gave him an evil look
He said I want to tell you about the lord
He can save you heathen horde
He raised his hand to the sky
An arrow pierced his right eye
He says the truth you cannot debunk
Then there were thousands of THUNK THUNK THUNK THUNKTHUNK

Fallen's picture
Sentinelese Gospel of THUNK

Sentinelese Gospel of THUNK

In the beginning God created blunt weapons...and your face. And God said "Let blunt weapons and your face be quickly brought together", and they came together quickly, and God saw that it was good (subjectively), and he proceeded to bless the blunt weapons...but not your face, for apparently the Lord pretty much hateth thy face, but loveth the blunt and pointy sticks.

Fallen's picture
Sentinelese Revelation of

Sentinelese Revelation of THUNK

And I stood on the sand of the sea, and behold, a beast rising from the west with a weapon of words in his right hand, and arrogance, domination and subjugation in his mouth. And I asked one of the sea shells "How long till this terrible beast is upon us?" and he replied "Beware and gird up your loins for the beast is at your door. But do not fear, for your people will fight for their freedom from bondage, and the power of THUNK will be with them, and they will overcome the beast and his vile poison. And those that hear your story of liberation will whistle in amazement for many days, and the onslaught of beasts will come to an end."

Randomhero1982's picture
*on the phone*

*on the phone*

"Mum, I know what I'm doing! Nothing bad will happen! Besides... I have the lord jesus christ watching my bac....."

THUNK THUNK THUNK THUNK THUNK...

Cognostic's picture
"Think not of tomorrow..."

"Think not of tomorrow..." THUNK THUNK THUNK!

Rohan M.'s picture
@Cog "... for there shall be

@Cog "... for there shall be no tommorow for Mr. Chau!"

Cognostic's picture
Blessed are the holy... THUNK

Blessed are the holy... THUNK.

Randomhero1982's picture
"Ahhh hello fellow children

"Ahhh hello fellow children of the lord, I see that you've come bearing gifts!!!! Ohhhh a noose, a spit for a hog roast and lots of bows and arro...."

*THUNK THUNK THUNK THUNK THUNK*

Cognostic's picture
Chau made 3 different

Chau made 3 different attempts at approaching the island. He was shot the first time. His bible was shot the second time and he gave the arrow back. All that was going though his mind was, "THIRD TIME IS A CHAR...." THUNK!

Randomhero1982's picture
"I come to you all brother

"I come to you all brother and sisters, with warnings that you shall kill me, use my body like a human flesh light and then consume my flesh after spit roasting me... but the lord is God, he is wise and he says I shall win over your hearts and minds...."

*THUNK*

"Oh fuck...."

*THUNK THUNK THUNK THUNK*

Cognostic's picture
"Okay, who is the mofo that

"Okay, who is the mofo that shot my bible with this arrow? " THUNK!

Cognostic's picture
"I didn't come all this way

"I didn't come all this way to be rejected" THUNK!

Randomhero1982's picture
"Hahahahahahahaha... and they

"Hahahahahahahaha... and they said no one made it alive!!!!!"

*THUNK THUNK THUNK THUNK*

Skeptical Kevin's picture
"They wish to be martyrs?

"They wish to be martyrs? Okay. I'm here to help."
-Christopher Hitchens

Tin-Man's picture
"Blue skies... smiling at

"Blue skies... smiling at meeeee..... Nothing but blue skies.... do I seeeee.... Blue birrrrrds... singing a sonnnnng... Nothing but blue birds.... all day lon-".... *THUNK-THUNK-THUNK-THUNK!*....

Tin-Man's picture
*pulling canoe onto shore*...

*pulling canoe onto shore*.... "Hah! They tried to block me twice! But they will never suspect that I just paddled around to the other side of the isla-".... *THUNK!"

Cognostic's picture
"Let's see now... Hmmm.

"Let's see now... Hmmm. Coconuts, Beach towel, sun block, what a lovely day for a THUNK!

Cognostic's picture
"thunk" *TURNING QUICKLY

"thunk" *TURNING QUICKLY EYES WIDE* "What was that!" "THUNK" "It's getting closer!" THUNK THUNK THUNK!!!

Fallen's picture
...*sings to self while

...*sings to self while approaching island*...
"Amaaaazing Grace, How sweet the sound
That saved a wretch like me
I once was lost, but now am THUNK!"

Randomhero1982's picture
"On this weeks episode of

"On this weeks episode of survivor, s new contest comes ashore..."

"I just want to thank God for the opportun..."

*THUNK THUNK THUNK*

Fallen's picture
"Let me take up the armor of

"Let me take up the armor of God: The belt of truth, the breastplate of righteousness, the shield of faith, the skid-marked underpants of spirit, the...THUNK!"

Pirate Jack's picture
Resist the urge to shoot me

Resist the urge to shoot me that is being put onto to you by the evil manipulation of Satan! THUNK THUNK THUNKTHUNK

Pirate Jack's picture
I would like to fill you with

I would like to fill you with the Christian spirit! Who wants to go first? THUNK THUNKTHUNK THUNKTHUNK

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